


Motorcycles And Lies

by Snail_eyebrows



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abused Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Abused Morality | Patton Sanders, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Blood and Violence, Deceit | Janus Sanders Has Heterochromia, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gangs, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence, Motorcycles, Multi, Other, Sarcasm, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 19,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snail_eyebrows/pseuds/Snail_eyebrows
Summary: Badboy!Virgil and Badboy!Janus, what could go wrong? Join Janus and Virgil on an angsty journey with lots of fluff and crime mixed in!Also on Wattpad by the same name, if you'd prefer!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 17
Kudos: 48





	1. Chasing It Down

“Virgil Cox!”

“Mr. Cox!”

“Principal’s office now!”

A rough hand grabbed Virgils’s shoulder and soon the teacher began yelling at the person who immediately released them and apologized. 

Virgil looked over to the other student and flipped him off with a smirk, the other student letting out an indignant noise and stormed past. The teacher soon stood in front of him and demanded he went to the office. He looked up at her from behind his purple tinted bangs, “I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

“I was! Now, to the office. Mr. Myers reported you for hurting Miss Gray and you need to pay the consequences!”

Virgil looked up at her with a glint in his eye, “Oh, so the parking violation gets a pass?”

“O-of course not, you will be punished for that too.”

“Good to know.” He turned heel and towards the office, promptly being sent to a meeting room for after school detention.

Walking in, Virgil saw three other students, two being regulars and the other being someone he only recognized from classes. 

He took his usual spot at the end of the table farthest from the door and kicked his feet up, not bothering with conversation like the two regulars, knowing it would be shut down as soon as a teacher walked in. Instead, he took to looking over the new kid, curious as he both seemed like the type to be in detention and not at the same time. He had a sharp face with almost yellow brown eyes looking onto his paper, likely schoolwork. His hair was dark brown with his pushed-up bangs away from his eyes. He wore no expression, just focused on his task. A teacher walked in and decided not to fight Virgil on his feet being up but did tell the other two to be quiet and do some school work. 

Virgil pulled out a book and began to read, only skimming the words and still watching over the new boy. He pulled out a piece of paper and wrote something before gently stepping on the new man’s toes to get his attention.

The shorter man shot him a glare and resumed his work. Virgil repeated the action and slipped the paper onto his lap. The other man seemed to ignore it and Virgil gave up, hoping he would eventually care about it.

A few hours later, they’re dismissed and let go to their cars, or motorcycle in Virgil’s case, where he decided to sit and wait for a text from the mystery boy. He, however, got bored after a minute and looked around, finally noticing that the person in question was, in fact, in the car just beside him. His eyes widened briefly before looking down at his phone that had just vibrated.

Virgil text: What’s your name? Just got home  
Janus text: You of all people should know that names are a precious thing  
Virgil text: Oh, shut up and tell me, or something to call you -_-  
Janus text: Fine, I’m Janus  
Virgil text: Nice and smooth, I like it. But ngl it’s a girl’s name lmao  
Janus text: Unisex, thank you very much  
Virgil text: Lol ur parents didn’t want to make a second name so they gave u a girl’s name  
Janus text: I get the vibe that you don’t respect pronouns  
Virgil text: No, no, i do. I’m not that bad. Just gonna assume til told otherwise  
Janus text: Not a great idea but k  
Virgil text: But if you insist, it’s unisex-y

Soon enough, he did start his engine and start to drive away. Virgil smirked and started his too, following him for a few turns, then eventually splitting up. 

As he got home, Virgil threw his backpack up a tree, soon climbing after it. He sat on his usual thick branch, leaning against the trunk.  
Janus text: You disgust me Virgil text: I’m glad Virgil text: I dumb or did you just move here a month ago or smth Janus text: Both Virgil text: Scuse u Janus text: I didn’t sneeze Virgil text: I didnt say u did. Now, whats ur address Janus text: What the hell Virgil text: I’m picking u up. Or gimme a nearby park Janus text: Don’t you ride a single-person bike?? Virgil text: Fits 2 if you try hard enough Janus text: I dont like that without context but, okay, I can walk to the park by the Y.B.’s so come get me in 10 if ur so determined Virgil text: Thanks, babe ;) Janus text: How dare you assume I like men Virgil text: Rumours fly, man Janus text: Dont make me retract the offer to take me wherever you want Virgil text: Noted! Virgil chuckled and when he didn’t quickly get another reply, set his phone down and opened up a notebook. He gazed around the area and started sketching an abandoned bird’s nest nearby.

Virgil hopped down from his tree, throwing his backpack into his open upstairs window before starting up his bike. He started to the park, enjoying the usual loud roar of the bike as it sped across the roads. While the bike itself was a shiny black with no decoration, Virgil had taken to littering it with different stickers of his favorite bands and whatever else he may think is cool. The latter is the reason for the large purple lightning bolt running on each side from the handles all the way to the seat bumper.  
The engine let out one last rev as he turned into the parking lot of the park. He scanned the area, looking for any signs of the man in a yellow leather jacket. Quickly he noticed that he was, indeed, there but a lot more sweaty than expected.

“Janus!” he called.

Janus looked over and walked over, keeping his shoulders back and enlarged to seem taller, despite being a good 4 inches shorter than Virgil.

“Hop on,” Virgil quipped.

“No introductions...? Just ‘hop on’?” Janus asked suspiciously. Virgil gave him a cheeky, open-mouthed smirk. 

“Of course not, don’t wanna scare you off immediately!” He revved the engine to prove his point.

“If you think you’re scary to anyone above the age of three, you’re insane.” He leaned against the handle bars of the motorcycle, straddling the front wheel. 

“Uh-huh and what makes you so tough?” Virgil sneered, leaning on the frontal brace. 

“Mobster parents,” he preened, flicking the pocket knife he had been holding out of its sheath and to his side. 

His eyes went wide but not out of surprise, more of glee. “I didn’t know there were any local gangs?”

“There’s plenty, but they are more to the west of here, near the city. My parents and I are just in the big one.” Janus’s eyes focused on something else off to the right of Virgil.

“Hmm, looking for anyone new?” He leaned forward, his palms pushed against the front brace, his arms fully extended to keep his stature tall but still excited.

“No,” Janus said curtly, looking Virgil back in his eyes.

“‘No’ as in you’re full and don’t want new people or don’t want little ol’ six foot Virgil who’s already committed crimes?” he teased, puckering his lower lip.

“No as in, I know better and know their type.”

He hummed in thought, looking Janus up and down, “And their type is barely 5’5 men?”

Janus huffed, puffing his chest out, “Do you want me to not get on?”

Virgil shot him a glare before settling back into his seat. “Come on and get on. I won’t hurt you and maybe I’ll be nice.”

He grinned, earning him a huff in response from Janus who, despite his better judgment, got on. He leaned forward and grabbed onto the handles, avoiding hitting Virgil’s hands. Once Janus seemed secure, Virgil started the engine back up and sped off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, call me Snail, I'm new to writing on ao3 so if you guys have any advice on what to do it make it more readable, let me know in the comments :)


	2. Getaway

Virgil drove for a while, enjoying the wind which whipped through his hair and pierced his ears. Janus held on, his knuckles white and thighs beginning to burn from holding onto the seat. The ride seemed to go on forever to Janus but seemed like nothing to Virgil who drove the vehicle with practiced skill. 

Truthfully, it took about an hour to get there, Virgil opting to speed when on the back road to shorten the ride by a half hour. Though it made the ride shorter, Janus was not a fan. However, the painful ride was quickly forgotten as Janus looked around where Virgil had brought him.

The area was a clearing surrounded by willow and cherry blossom trees, hanging over them with a beautiful sense of dauntingness. In front of Janus was a running stream with glittering rocks jutting out of it and around the edges, the grass lush and without weeds, though the outer edges seemed overgrown with flowers and uncut grass. As Janus stepped off the motorcycle, he noticed the ground was still moist from a storm a few days earlier. He resisted the urge to ogle at the sight in lieu of keeping his sterner appearance.

“Like it?” Virgil asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Janus looked up at him and took a second to respond, “Yeah, it’s pretty. How’d you find it?”

Virgil cocked his head to the side in thought, “Mama used to take me where when I was little. She stopped when I was around five, but I always wanted to go again. Though I wanted to find it again, so the first time I drove this baby out alone, I went searching. Obviously, I found it and fixed it up.”

“Why’d she stop?” Janus asked as he sat on the ground, ignoring the quiet, squishing sound it made.

Virgil pursed his lips, his eyes clouded by turmoil. “I dunno, guess she just got busy.”

While being able to tell this wasn’t the whole truth, Janus dropped the subject, instead, turning and going towards the water, never having his back fully to Virgil.

He inspected the stream, enjoying the pretty fishes that swam past and the shiny rocks that lay beneath the water. He scooped a few rocks up and set them on the grass, choosing a few to keep after washing them with the stream water as to not get his pockets dirty. He gently placed the rejected ones back into the water and turned towards Virgil, who opted to slouch on a tree a few feet away.

“What are you doing?” Janus asked, his brow furrowed. 

“Watching.” He said simply. 

“I’ll have you know that I don’t trust you and if that’s what you’re going for, good. If not, then I suggest not stalking me while I collect rocks.” He looked up at him, a slight glare in his eyes, enough to show he was serious. 

“Dude, chill. You’re fine. I have a knife but it’s in the ‘cycle. Go find it if you want, but druggies like to come out and sometimes attack around here so better safe than sorry.”

He looked Virgil up and down, his stomach turning with uncertainty, “I’d like to look, if you don’t mind.”

Virgil smiled and whipped his head towards the motorcycle silently. Janus went over and looked, checking any and all places a knife could be. When he found it beneath the seat, he gently picked it up and inspected the engravings. The letters V and C were on the bottom of the handle in elegant letters.

“Signing your own knife?” Janus quipped

“Mhm, a killer’s downfall if I leave it so you know I won’t hunt ‘ya.”

“Or are you?” Janus had a glint in his eye, playfulness evident in his features. They both let out a breath through his nose, Janus pocketing the knife. 

Janus nibbled on the inside of his cheek as he walked back to the stream. He dipped his hand in and felt the gently flowing water.

“Do you ever wonder how other people live?” Janus asked suddenly.

“No, why?”

“I guess it’s just a sense of not being normal. My normal isn’t someone else's, but that’s not unusual. What’s not is the fact of how different mine is. I’m surrounded by people who try and protect me at all costs, lest my parents hurt them for not doing their job to protect me. I can handle myself with almost any weapon and hand-to-hand, I don’t need it. Yet, with so many enemies, you can never be too careful... I just want to be free of having to be on-guard all the time. I just want to relax sometimes.” 

There was a pause while they both turned over what had been said. 

“What if I was that escape?”


	3. Omen

Not much was said after that, a slightly uncomfortable air around the two. Virgil offered to take Janus to lunch, which was accepted after a beat of thought. They both rode back into town square on the motorcycle, Janus slightly calmer this time around. Virgil took them to a small place in town, a restaurant, but it was the prominent sign and flag of many colors out front that surprised Janus. 

They walked in, the smell of baked goods and seasoning wafting through the air. They seated themselves in the back corner booth and looked at the menus that were propped up behind the salt and pepper shakers. 

Virgil sat uneasily, unsure how to ask Janus for his order. That, and while he knew he had to do it, as he was paying, he really did not want to order, period. His tougher appearance always seems to falter when it came to that sort of thing, his stomach churning in his gut. 

Virgil opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He cursed at his voice for not working correctly. 

Unfortunately, Janus seemed to take notice, “Uh, I’ll just do a black coffee and tuna sandwich, I guess.”

Virgil smiled coyly, standing and putting their menus back, “A man after my own bitter coffee heart.”

“How did I know exactly that you’d be a black coffee drinker? Not that you like it, more that you get two hours of sleep every night and that’s all that gets you through the day?”

Virgil placed a hand over his heart, letting out a playful, offended gasp, “Calling me out? How rude!” He turned heel and went to the short line in front of the counter to order. He watched as the line shortened, his fists twisting and turning his jacket sleeve to ground himself. He breathed hard, willing himself not to start shaking. 

Before he would like, he got to the front and ordered. It sounded normal to anyone else, but Virgil was aware of just how close to a fumbling mess his words almost were. 

He took the ticket from the cashier and stood by the large yellow and brown ‘Pick-up’ sign. He fidgeted, the poor ticket being crumbled and rolled around, a few tears appearing. But, not soon enough, his number was called, and he exchanged the paper for the tray. Virgil carefully balanced it to the table, making sure not to spill any of the steaming hot drinks on himself. Janus watched and gently took his part of the meal from the tray, popping open the clear plastic container that held his sandwich and chips. Virgil did the same, taking the lid off his coffee to let it cool faster. Janus kept his on and immediately drank, Virgil giving him a slightly uncomfortable look, earning him a chuckle.

Virgil ate, not enjoying the complete silence between them. 

“You're in my math, right?” Janus said.

Virgil nodded, “Yeah, why?”

Janus hummed in thought, “Are you any good?”

“I mean, I get B’s if I try, which I obviously don’t, seeing as how ‘m failing it.”

“Could you tutor me?”

“Tutor you? Me? No! Go ask Logan. That one kid in the front of the class, ya know?”

“But-”

“Look, man, I will if you really need it but I probably won’t make a huge difference. Why do you want it anyway?” Virgil tilted his head in curiosity, taking another bit of food while Janus spoke.

“I actually do want to get decent grades, so I can have a good job. College isn’t an option but I can have some sort of future outside of crime and my parents.”

Virgil mulled over his options for a moment before giving in and simply nodding. Janus smiled gratefully and stood, “I’m gonna go get a cookie, want one?” Virgil pursed his lips and nodded, “Sounds good.”

Janus got up and went to the counter, waiting in the slightly longer line. When he got to the front, Virgil watched as his expression turned sour, his stance becoming stiff. He looked to who Janus was talking to, recognizing him. The worker seemed just as disgusted at seeing Janus, angrily pressing buttons on the cash register to complete the order. Janus returned and sat not long after, giving Virgil his cookie. 

“What’s your deal with that guy?” Virgil pointed his index finger to the red-clad man. 

He huffed, “Ex’s brother.”

He gave him an exasperated look, “Dude, that’s my brother’s boyfriend, you can’t just tell me that!”

“Look, I didn’t know and now you do.”

Virgil paused, “Wait, you’re gay?”

Janus nodded, bitting his inner lip, “I mean, yeah.”

Virgil suppressed a grin, “Relax, me too. We don’t judge here.”

He sighed and nodded. “I’ve got to go. See you tomorrow?” He paused then, “Maybe after school?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed ❤️


	4. Dirty Town

Virgil snapped his heel back against the kickstand of his motorcycle, it hitting the belly of the bike with a satisfying snap!. The engine roared to life as he started down the street, an object flying by his head, his hair wisping from the movement. Virgil blocked out the noises and drove far from his home and into the city, the edges of it still being in the same school district as him. He entered an alleyway, walking his bike along, rather than riding it and upsetting the neighborhood with the loud, rumbling noises. He looked up the side of a large house before going back to his phone, fingers typing out a text to Janus. He waited, the moonlight stars barely visible through the city’s smoke-filled air. He heard footsteps from nearby, his head whipping in that direction. He spotted a familiar black and yellow figure, the yellow standing out in the low light of the alley. 

He waved his hand lazily in the air, “Hey.”

Janus returned the greeting and came within a few feet of Virgil, “C’mon.”

Virgil listened and followed, heading in by a back entrance. Janus led him up a couple flights of stairs, landing on the 3rd floor as they talked quietly. A few months had passed since their first encounter and the two had slowly opened up to one another, a gentle friendship of sorts. They both had their secrets, Janus not letting Virgil meet his parents or whoever lived in the same house as him and Virgil not revealing anything to do about his home life. 

They walked into a room; Janus’s. Virgil made himself at home on the plush velvet armchair in the corner, looking around the already familiar room. The walls were a pastel yellow with contrasting black and red trim. The walls were littered with posters and one wall containing a display of CDs and records. The furniture was either dark wood or black with the bedside table holding a record player and overflowing with far too many empty water bottles. His bathroom was much the same aesthetic, the theme flowing into the decorated closet, even. 

Janus sat in the adjacent chair, moving a few of the red pillows aside to make more room. 

“Have you seen the new kid? He’s in my English, and he’s fine as hell.”

Janus laughed and shook his head, “Yeah, he’s in my math class, but he’s not that cute.” 

Virgil gave him a look of suspicion before Janus rolled his eyes, “Fine, okay, he’s cute.” 

The taller one finally flipped his hood off of his dyed hair, smiling more than usual, “Have you seen his eyes? He has heterochromia!” Janus bit the inside of his lip nervously and nodded along. 

“What, you think that’s hot?” Janus joked, “I think it’s kind of cliché.”

“It’s cliché for a reason, right? Do you have something against it?” Virgil leaned forward towards Janus, who swallowed down a load of spit. “No, in fact, follow me.”

Janus stood from the chair, looking down at Virgil expectantly. Virgil took the hint and stood as well. Janus walked out of the room, Virgil followed, taking the time to admire the large snake patch on the back of his jacket. The shorter walked into a room a few doors down, the tables and cabinets reminding Virgil of a lab. He started to wander off, looking at all the equipment while Janus did his own thing. He inspected a scalpel, the edge containing some rust. He felt a presence behind him, and, assuming it was Janus, didn’t bother to look. He stood up, coming face to face with two different colored eyes. 

“Oh!” he exclaimed, taking a moment to realize it was Janus.

“Oh? Do...do you not like it?” He began to put his contact in over his yellow-green eye. The contact matched the other eye, a gentle golden brown. 

Virgil grabbed his arm gently, “No, no, it just is different. Is that why you were so defensive before?” His voice softened, earning him just a nod in return. They paused for a moment, Virgil leaning casually against the table, wary of any trays or knives. 

Janus took a step back and went over to where he was before, using the mirror to re-insert his contacts. The peaceful silence was all too soon broken by the loud thump and the clattering of metal to the linoleum floor. Virgil ducked down, fearing something would come and hit his head. He shook, memories flying back to him. He peeked over to the side of the table, just in time to see two men over by where Janus just was. He scrambled back to his spot, managing to hide in one of the cabinets with ease due to his unusually thin stature. Virgil waited it out, calming his breathing by fidgeting with the hair tie on his wrist, occasionally snapping it quietly. When the noise had quieted down, Virgil slipped out of the cabinets, the glassware clinking behind him and making him flinch. He looked at where Janus was before and nearly gasped in horror. He was near asleep, trying to get up but finding it difficult in his weakened state. 

“Janus? What happened?” Virgil asked,

Janus hid behind his sweatshirt, hiding his face, “Go, I’ll find help, but you can’t be seen here. You can escape through the window in my room, I’ll get myself help.” He fell back to his knees, and, holding back words of protest, Virgil left. 

He snuck out the window, his shaking never subsiding. He landed on the ground, his feet and hands aching from overuse, the callouses on his fingertips red and raw from the brick building’s sharp corners. Virgil heard voices from nearby and dove behind a trash bin to finally process what had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question of the day: fav SS ship? One you can't stand?


	5. Biting on a Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone please tell me you get the title references

Virgil curled up in his chair, his bangs falling loosely over his eyes. He pressed the balls of his palm against his eyes, watching as the white background and swirls set in to ground himself, the pain adding to the effectiveness. His thighs began to burn from being pushed into the metal arms of the tiny hospital seat. He tried to ignore it, but he finally gave up and relaxed, his feet falling to the ground and his arms falling to his sides. He checked the clock hanging above the reception desk, it read 8 pm. He sighed, knowing that even if Janus wanted to see him, it wouldn’t be for long since visiting hours ended in an hour. 

Virgil blew air at his bangs to get them to move, seemingly unable to move his arms. He looked to his right and upon seeing a doctor approach, sat up.

“Name?” The doctor asked gently.

“Virgil Cox, ma’am.”

She nodded and looked at her clipboard, “Janus Evans says he is ready for visitors if it is just you. His parents have not signed in so can you confirm they are not here?”

He looked around, “Never seen them, so I dunno.”

She nodded, seemingly content enough with that answer. She turned and motioned for Vigril to follow her, which he did. They walked up a flight of stairs and down another hallway, eventually reaching a secluded unit. She motioned to a door with the lights off after unlocking it. He stepped in, cautiously, unsure of what to expect. 

Though he had a million guesses as to what could’ve happened at the lab as well as to what the aftermath was like, but half of Janus’s face wrapped in gauze and little bits of blood leaking through was not one of them.

The doctor poked her head into the room, then faced Virgil, “It’s hard for him to talk, so he has a notepad. Don’t worry, it’s just because of how stiff the wrappings are.” He nodded and walked to the bed.

“Hey,” he said. Janus looked up at him and then wrote, ‘Hi.’

Virgil sighed, realizing this was going to be harder than expected. “How are you doing?”

Janus looked back at his notebook and wrote, ‘I would say in pain, but the drugs they gave me are strong.’ Virgil chuckled, “Can I sit?” To which he just got a nod in response. He sat on the very edge by Janus’s feet, not wanting to intrude.

‘Did anyone see you?’

He read it, then shook his head, “No, I was in a cabinet. Why?”

Janus looked frustrated and quickly wrote, ‘They could’ve seen you before they attacked me. Did you see them?’

“No, like I said, I hid as soon as I heard the crash.”

‘The one that split my cheek. Got it. Well, I’ll draw them, and if you see them, run. They might know we’re affiliated.’

Virgil took a moment to read the sloppy but oddly pretty hand writing before replying, “What’s so bad about me being around you?” Janus didn’t write anything, just looked to the side in thought. 

Virgil dropped the topic and said, “Well, if you don’t want to tell me, then start drawing or explain what happened to you.”

Janus made a noise of recognition, then pointed to the clipboard and laminated papers hanging off his bed post. Virgil went and looked at it. He scanned the less important parts and read the rest in more detail. 

‘Evans was knocked to the ground, resulting in a minor head injury to his occipital bone. One of the men, who supposedly attacked, took a piece of shattered glass, that was broken because of Evans’s fall. They sliced a cut into the side of his mouth. It measures 3 inches across, .5 inches at the widest point, and .5 inches deep at the lowest point. Stitches were applied.

‘After the cut was applied, one of the men grabbed a nearby acid, currently unidentified but is under testing, and splashed it over half of Evan’s face. The burns are 1 foot wide and 5 inches across, no serious damage as Evans took the necessary steps to avoid the acid to eat further into his skin. Scarring is almost guaranteed but no damage to hearing or sight.’

Virgil looked up at Janus, “Are,” he paused, “are you sure you’re alright?” Janus half smiled and nodded. ‘Enough.’

Virgil sighed and sat back on the bed, though, a little more comfortably this time. Janus looked up at him with a comforting look in his eyes, hand over his notepad with a pencil in hand as though he was about to write something. Though, he was interrupted by an announcement over the loud speaker, “Visiting hours will be ending in ten minutes, please make your way to the front of the hospital to check out.”

Janus looked back from the direction of the voice to his notebook, ‘I guess you should go. Before my parents decide to visit at the last minute.’ Virgil nodded and smiled a little.

“Yeah, should I come back tomorrow?” Janus gave him a small thumbs-up in response. Virgil stood and headed out the door, giving Janus one last wave before he turned back to the hallway. What he didn’t expect was to adults, one lightly shorter than him and one a few inches taller. The man owning a striking resemblance to Janus, but the woman holding the same eyes as the boy in the bed behind him. Virgil only took a moment to look at them before who they were registered in his brain. Not wanting to upset Janus, he quickly walked away, heading to his car and staring numbly at the steering wheel.


	6. Family

Virgil drove home, the past twelve hours’ worth of emotions finally catching up to him. He stayed on the main roads, unwilling to be in a more private area despite the tears flowing from his eyes. He turned into an alleyway, the houses along the road looking old and dilapidated, something he knew all too well. Virgil parked the motorcycle beside a porch littered with broken outdoor furniture and glass. He chained it to a bent fence post with a padlock before heading into the door attached to the porch. 

Virgil pushed the door open, willing it not to squeak, though, it did not comply. He scanned the area, in front of him was a dirtied kitchen with trash and dust. He looked to his left when seeing no one in the kitchen to the living room where a TV was playing the local news. Janus’s attack was being reported so Virgil tried to block it out and see if his mother was sleeping in her chair. Seeing she was, he crept forward into the house, closing the door behind him with speed rivaling a snail’s. He pressed on, staring down at the floor boards to avoid certain ones with uneven edges that tended to make noise. 

“Virgil!” he froze, unsure of what to do. He tried to continue up to the base of the stairs. However, he was stopped by someone grabbing the hood of his black hoodie. He grabbed at the front, trying to get rid of the choking feeling around his neck. Virgil’s hood was dropped, him falling to the ground with a harsh ‘thump!’ Pain shot through his tailbone as he scambled away from his mother.

“What are you doing out so late?!” she yelled, shoving her phone in his face, the time on the home screen read ‘9:30 pm,’ well within his curfew that had been set a few years ago.

“Mom, it's nin-” he was cut off by an angry screech of, “Don’t talk back to your mother!”

He bit back a retort, knowing exactly how the conversation would go if he pressed it. He stood up carefully, not wanting to upset his mother, who was clearly on something. His mother relaxed and waddled back to the living room, “Get me a beer and go to your room.”

Virgil shook with emotion and conflict, not wanting to get the beer but feared the punishment. He’s always been fitter and larger than his mother, but she was the one with the power to kick him out. He walked quietly to the kitchen and then to the refrigerator, tugging hard to finally let him in. Virgil grabbed one of the beers, his bangs falling over his eyes as he crouched down to get one. He didn’t push the bang back, feeling more reserved than usual. He went back to the living room, placed the beer in his mother’s outstretched hand, and then left for the stairs. 

Virgil hurried up, checked a bedroom on one of the upstairs, and then went to the other side when he saw it was empty. He poked his head into his own bedroom and saw his brother passed out on his bed, hugging the stuffed dog he always carried around the house for comfort. Virgil awed at the sight, but Patton was in his room, that can’t be a good sign. 

“Pat?” He said softly, sitting on the edge of his bed by Patton’s waist. A small noise came from the twin as he opened his eyes slowly to look up at Virgil. “Can I lay with you?”

Patton nodded and made room for Virgil, not leaving his sleepy stage of awakening. Virgil laid down and pulled the blankets over himself, which Patton already was under. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Patton shook his head, “Where were you?” 

Virgil chuckled and picked at his nails. “Just seeing a friend. You know, the one I told you about?” Patton moved closer and nodded into Virgil’s arm, the warm air that was previously trapped under the blanket being uprooted from Virgil lifted it. 

“Cold?” Virgil teased, moving closer to ensure the other wouldn’t feel the chill for long. Patton didn’t respond, just pressed himself further to Virgil to cement himself into the warmth of Virgil’s hoodie. Virgil sighed and finally let himself relax, the feeling of protecting his brother making him feel better. He knew that he took the brunt of their mom’s words instead of Patton, and he would have it no other way. He rested his chin on Patton’s wavy curls, curls that matched his when his hair wasn’t straightened, and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, just supposed to be for introduction!


	7. Sleep Awake

He couldn’t get the image out of his head. The grabbing, the yanking, it all felt so real. He made a noise of pain, the phantom pains of the imagined events still playing out in his head. The weight on his arms, the pull of his legs, it was all too much, but he had no idea how to get rid of it.

Patton awoke to the noises of whines, almost like a sad puppy. He sat up and looked around, turning on the lap to his left. He looked to his right and saw Virgil with his eyes squeezed shut, hands gripping the blanket that was also clenched between his teeth. They had been staying together in Virgil’s room ever since that night when Virgil returned late from the hospital a few weeks ago. Patton bit the inside of his lip, unsure of what the safest course of action was. Should he wake up Virgil physically but risk him panicking more or wake up verbally and risk waking up their mom? He finally chose and gently shook Virgil, deciding that it was the safest choice for both of them. Virgil seemed to get worse from the sudden touch, but eventually his eyes shot open, him heaving from the stress of the nightmare. 

“Are you okay? Nobody got you, right? No one is here?” Virgil’s words are rushed and flowing from his mouth uncontrollably.

“Vee, you just had a nightmare,” Patton whispered gently, his voice thick with worry. Virgil fell back against the wall, leaning against one of the pillows on his bed. He gently held Patton’s hand to ground himself, taking in shuddery breaths. Soon, his breathing returned to mostly normal and his body stilled, leaving Virgil exhausted and tingly. 

There was a while of silence before Virgil sat up with a gentle sigh. “Want to go for a ride?”

Patton, who was used to these nightly escapes, nodded eagerly. 

“Get your school stuff together, okay? Be ready in ten, we’ll sleep in our spot.”

They both got to work, collecting clothes and homework before throwing their backpacks out the window, the boys soon following behind by climbing down the nearby tree. They were fast and silent, basically trained how to survive in their world. They grabbed their bags at the bottom, throwing their coats on to keep out the chilly, autumn air. Virgil unchained his bike and hopped on, scooting forward to make room for Patton to get on. Once Patton was securely in place and had his hands around Virgil’s waist, Virgil started up the motorcycle.

They drove for a while, Virgil making a lap around the block once before getting gas and a snack for each of them. He headed out after that, going to the highway nearby to just stay in the public eye while he drove. Patton relaxed against Virgil, the padding of his helmet only doing so much to stop the uncomfortable banging of his head against Virgil’s back. 

Once they were on a quieter road, Patton whispered. “Virgil?”

“Yes?” Virgil replied.

“Can you drop me off at Logan’s? He lives nearby here, and he won’t mind me coming.”

Virgil chuckled softly at the tired and lovesick brother, “Of course. Just text him once I pull over to make sure.”

Virgil found a junction and pulled over, allowing Patton to safely pull his phone out and shoot a text to his partner. 

“He said it’s fine. I’m more concerned at why he’s up at almost one am on a school night.”

“Maybe he was worried about you? He has your location in case Mom decides to do something, right? Maybe he was concerned that you were moving around so much.”

Patton blushed at the prospect that someone would care for him like that, “I dunno…”

“You don't need to know, Pat,” he said as he got back on the bike and started the engine up once more. Patton got back on and Virgil turned off the busy streets into the nicer part of town where he knew Logan lived due to the countless times he’s delivered his twin there. 

Patton jumps off the bike and grabs his back, giving Virgil a long, tight hug. “Do you want me to ask Logan if you can stay?”

“I couldn't do that to you two. You go enjoy your date night and I’ll stay with a friend.”  
“A ‘friend?’ Is it a friend or one of those guys you get your cigarettes from?”

Virgil huffed, “Don't bring that up, you know I’m trying to quit. Besides, yes, it’s an actual friend.” He wasn’t about to give up the fact that this “friend” was a stream and some rocks out in the open forest. 

“The cigarettes in your bag tell me otherwise, but… take care of yourself, okay? I’ll see you later.” Patton smiled and headed up the stairs to Logan’s house, sending Logan a text saying he was here. Before Logan could have seen it, though, the door was opened and Logan’s tall figure stood in the doorway.

“Come in? I made tea to help tire us out.” Logan’s voice was soft and gentle, much like how his plaid sweatpants and fleece top looked. Patton nodded and headed in under Logan’s outstretched arm, which was holding the door.

Patton looked around the neat home, one he has come to love the contrast of his own home. He headed into the kitchen, the kettle on the stove already beginning to boil. 

“What kind of tea would you like, cor meum?” 

Patton blushed at the name, Logan’s Latin speaking skills always getting to him. It was one of the few nicknames he knew, meaning “my heart.” He pursed his lips together in thought, “Chai? With extra cinnamon!” Logan smiled lightly at the excitement coming from the smaller boy and started to collect the ingredients. Logan always had an affinity to all things natural. From the plants to plants, he loved it all. This meant that Logan had a vast collection of plants strewn about the kitchen. His parents never seemed to care, it just meant they usually never had to buy spices or certain fruits and vegetables. He picked off a few spices from the plants resting on the windowsill and a few from jars in the cabinet. Logan wrapped them in some cheese cloth, neatly tying a string around the top to seal off all the spices inside. He dropped into the boiling water, watching the gentle brown color seep out of the cloth. 

Patton grabbed two mugs, a NASA one and one Logan had bought for him, but Patton had “accidentally” forgotten at Logan’s home. It was a baby blue everywhere but inside there was a tiny sculpted dog that was stuck to the bottom.

They talked for a bit while the tea infused with the water, the conversation light-hearted and simple, like their day or the beautiful stars outside. 

The kettle suddenly whistled to life, making Patton jump but Logan just released the pressure and poured the tea, adding a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar to the tops of each mug. Patton happily took his, sipping at the hot tea before recoiling from the mug. “‘s hot…” he complained, sticking the tip of his tongue out to cool it.

“Of course it is, Patton. It just came out of the kettle.” Logan stated matter-of-factly. “Would you like an ice cube?” he asked, heading over to the freezer.

Patton nodded quickly and pouted by leaning his back against the counter, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Logan got a small ice cube and walked over to Patton, expecting to hand it to Patton but the shorter had other plans. He opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out in asking for the ice cube, amusing Logan who kept it mostly contained within a small smile. Logan plopped the cube down on his tongue and Patton closed up his mouth, happily letting it melt.

“How about we start a movie in my room and relax? It’s unhealthy to be up this late.”

Patton raised a brow at him, his words slightly slurred from his numb mouth, “Says the one who immediately answered me at one am when I asked if I could come over.”

This time, it was Logan’s turn to blush, “I was just worried about you, that is all.”

Patton giggled and went on his tiptoes, ruffling Logan’s usually neatly gelled back hair that had been ruined since he last saw him in school a few hours before. “Still, it sounds like a plan.”

He grabbed his mug, careful to avoid the hot parts of it, and bounded up the stairs, careful to stay quiet for Logan’s parents’s sake. He turned to the door farthest from the stairway and entered it, the familiar smell of books wafting around him. He set his mug on the bedside table, Logan, just behind him, doing the same but the other bedside table. 

Patton plopped onto the bed, curling up in the fluffy blanket under the comforter. Logan always seemed to get cold during the night so there was always an abundance of blankets on his bed. Logan soon followed him but much less energetically.

“What would you like to watch?” Logan asked, grabbing the remote.

Patton shrugged and curled up to his Logan’s side, “You choose, starlight.”

Logan looked through Netflix, searching through the various movies listed. He finally decided on a documentary about the sea, seemingly content with that. 

Patton sighed contently at his side, finally beginning to get tired again. As he was drifting to sleep, he heard a gentle whisper from Logan but couldn’t make it out but his sleep-filled mind did not care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this doozy of a long chapter!


	8. Wrecking Ball

Virgil shoved his books into his locker, the loose assignments at the bottom becoming nothing but crushed slivers of paper. He grabbed the books and binders he’d need for the new few classes up until the end of the day, grabbing his music folder, social studies book, and English binder. Walking through the halls, he saw Janus and sent him a broad smile, walking to the auditorium. 

The next few classes passed with ease, Virgil not paying attention to too much of anything and instead playing on his phone whenever he could. His math class with Janus long since having passed, his day seemed unimportant. Janus had returned to school the day before and while Virgil was expecting him to still have half his face bandaged, it was not. The other students shrank down even more when Janus approached, seeming to fear that the acid burn marks could be contagious. It was even hard for Virgil to look at sometimes, though it was more out of guilt that he could have prevented the damage than fear. The cut that spread from his lip to his ear, the burns across half of his face, the deep eye bags forming in both eyes from a lack of sleep from nightmares; it was all too much for Virgil. Janus had already stated many times that Virgil was not at fault, and he did the smart thing in that situation, it was by no means enough to calm his conscience. 

His focus snapped back to the teacher at a call of his name. His head was too heavy with emotion to care about if he was right or wrong, so he answered with something close enough to the topic on hand.

Virgil raised his hand and requested he be allowed to go to the bathroom, which the teacher granted. He purposefully took a wrong turn at the junction between the bathroom nook and the social studies's hallway. He walked by the classrooms with purpose, pulling a yellow piece of paper out of his backpack to look like a pass, though it was months old by now. 

He slipped out a back door, pulling his hood over his head, taking a door where a kid had busted a camera months ago, but no one had bothered to fix. Virgil looked around, wary of his surroundings, checking the corners as he walked by them. By the time he had gotten close to his motorcycle, he let his guard down and hopped on. Just as he was swinging his other leg over, his shoulders were grabbed, and he was slammed to the ground, the vulnerable position leaving him open and easy to hit. He looked up at the two men, trying to not show the fear he was feeling in his gut on his face. One of the men, a lanky blond in a chunky hoodie with some logo on it, sneered down at him and tried to land a kick on Virgil’s face. Virgil dodged, rolling over onto the grass before quickly getting to his feet. 

He observed the other man, this one being a more built, broad man with a short, near shaved hairstyle. He dawned the school’s varsity jacket, it only added to the intimidation factor of his strong build. Virgil grounded himself, not wanting to seem offensive but ready to protect himself. 

“Pretty boy thinks he can protect himself, huh?” The taller one said, cocking his head to the side.

“Maybe if you got it through your thick skull that I have fought and won plenty of times before, you’d come out unscathed by the end.” Virgil clenched his fists, trying to appear more threatening.

The shorter one laughed heartily, “and be scared by a scrawny thing like you? No way!”

Before Virgil could process what he had said, the well-built man was charging at him. Adrenaline pumping, he thrust his arms above his face in an attempt to block out blows and possibly catch the other’s fist. He successfully does both, putting all his weight into throwing off the other’s balance. The other man stubbles back, not expecting the shift. The taller one goes after Virgil, next, lunging towards Virgil’s waist to take him down to the ground. Virgil ducks down, falling onto the ground in a far less painful way than if he had stayed still. The taller man being above him, he jerked up his hips and legs, his heels digging into the other’s stomach and chest. Blond-y fell back, Virgil’s combat boots more than enough to cause some pain. Not at all ideal shoes for fighting, but they added a lot of weight to his blows. Virgil took the lift from the kick to get back to his feet, turning to face the man in the varsity jacket, not letting the other out of his sight, though. 

“So the little boy can fight, huh?” The one standing sneered.

“Like you’re not a good 12 inches shorter than me,” Virgil said back, his tone low and guarded. 

The man laughed heartily, “I enjoy a good fight and, while I’m not satisfied, I can see I’m gonna lose. So, wanna join?”

“‘Wanna join?’” Virgil asked incredulously. 

“Yup! Screw that ‘lil boyfriend of yours and see what you can do for us.”

“Do for you? What’s in it for me?”

“Nothing! Well, for now. You gotta prove yourself and such.”

Virgil tapped his foot on the ground and pretended to think, “Can I have time to think it over?”

“Yeah, yeah, fine. Just, like, tell us by Friday?” The taller one had finally recovered and stood up by now.

Friday was in two days, plenty of time to convince Janus to let him in first. Otherwise, he’d probably take these two goons’ offer.

“Yeah...I’ll let you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you didn't know, all the chapter titles are song names and I made a playlist of all the songs!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKAiwFl6n2JFBdAYv8qPelN64ogOmmMkH


	9. Very Good Bad Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the later and shorter update, I found it really hard to write during Thanksgiving breaks but hopefully chapters will go back to normal soon!
> 
> Also TW for talk of death and talk of being shot

After an hour of hiding out near the city outskirts, Virgil sat on the grass nearby. When Janus drove by, Virgil flagged him down a few miles from Janus’s home. Janus gave him a confused look, rolling down his window.

“Virgil? What are you doing?”

“We gotta talk, sunflower,” Virgil replied, the excitement and playfulness thick in his tone of voice. His stance on the ground had only had his feet touching the floor, his arms and legs just above it in anticipation.

Janus’s grip on the steering wheel tightened greatly but Virgil didn’t notice. “About what?” He asked, a suspicious look upon his face. 

“I just got an offer and if not offered something better, I will take it.”

“What kind of offer…?” Janus inquired, his demeanor now slightly nervous.

“So you know how I’ve talked about joining your ‘family business?’” He used air quotes around the words “family business,” knowing full well what kind of business his family was in.  
“And I’ve said no. Please don’t say someone approached you and asked you to join, Virge…” He sounded exasperated and worried, unlike anything Virgil had heard before, all previous concern had been masked with sarcasm and rudeness for Janus to keep up face with his friend.

Virgil faltered for a second, “I mean, yeah, they did. Now that I think about it, they kinda look like the sketch you made of them, so I could avoid ‘em. Was that why? You didn’t want them to steal me from you?” His tone was back to normal by the end.

“No! Virgil, they have no goodwill towards you. We’re enemy groups, I guess you could call it. Hold up, get in, this is too risky.” Janus opened the door to the car, letting Virgil get into the passenger seat. Virgil got in, confused.

“Did you walk here?” Janus asked.

“Yeah, my, uh, bike is at my house.”

Janus gave him a curious look but didn’t press it, instead opting to drive to his home, leading Virgil inside through the mostly abandoned, back entrance. He led him up to his room, locking the door behind them.

“What’s all the fuss about?” Virgil asked.

“We don’t need anyone hearing, okay? Now sit.”

His sternness led Virgil to obey, who sat on the bed, knowing that the tone only came out when Janus was seriously worried about their safety. “Okay? What now what? I don’t know why you’re so stressed. I’m only accepting if you don’t let me into yours.”

“Virgil, you don’t understand. You don’t want to get caught up in my life. I already don’t like having you here as is. Imagine you ten years from now. You don’t want to regret your choices as a kid. Go to college and get a degree, become a musician, I don’t care, just don’t get stuck with me!” He shook with emotion, unable to stress to Virgil enough the severity of his actions. 

“Janus…”

“No! I don’t want to be here, Virgil! I hate it, yet here I am, doomed to be shot if I do!”

There was a pause, Janus using all his strength to not let the tears building up flow.   
“Remember our first time hanging out? Out in the field?” Virgil asked.  
“I mean, yeah. Why?” Janus sniffled a little.

“I promised to be your way out of your situation, I could tell you didn’t like it. But here I am, unable to do anything for you ‘cause my mom hates my guts and might actually kill me if I brought you home.”

“Yeah, we don’t need two dead teens. Wish we could just run away from all this crap.”

“Yeah… I wish…”


	10. Calm Me Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some Pat and Roman fluff :)

TW: mention of abuse and running away

The boys laid around the bed in silence, the weight of the conversation still holding their hearts down. They both had words on their lips, the words too strong to leave, their brains wracking with the possibilities. 

“Jan-”

“Shh.”

And so they went back to silence, Virgil fighting back his speech and Janus needing the silence for his impending headache.

“Let’s run away, then.” Virgil rushed out quickly, just needing to get the plea off his chest. 

“What?”

“Let’s run away. My life sucks and you hate your’s. Patton will stay with one or both of his boyfriends and he’ll be fine. Or he can come with, I will make sure you don’t care. We’ll go to the countryside and wait a year ‘til we’re eighteen and then reappear as new people. We both have reasons in the eyes of the court for a name change and then we’ll be fine. Split ways after that, I don’t care but we have no reason to stay in this hell hole, do we?”

“Virgil, I do have to stay here, you kn-” he was cut off by Virgil speaking again.

“No, you don’t. You can escape, I promise.”

“You don’t understand, Virge. I have burns on half my face and a huge potential scar. Don’t you think someone will recognize me?” 

Virgil looked down in shame, the realization that he was easily recognizable sinking down on him. “But isn’t it worth trying?”

Janus shook his head, “I’m sorry but no. I can help you get away but the best I can do is plan an escape route and maybe a place to stay. I’m sorry but I need to stay here.”  
Virgil’s brow furrowed further, “Why not?” 

Janus rolled his eyes at the indignant tone. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?” Virgil repeated.

“‘Cause that brakes the whole ‘secret I can’t tell anyone’ thing.” His tone was dry and clearly, it was a sensitive topic. 

“Well, if you’re not gonna tell me, at least give me a good reason why not. I kinda wanna stick with you and it’s hard when you’re bring this difficult.”

“That is my good reason, Virgil!”

Virgil’s mouth opened and closed, unsure of what to say. The tears that had once disappeared from Janus’s eyes had now returned and he didn’t know what to do so he laid back onto the bed, stress deep in his body.

“I’m so-” He was interrupted by his ring tone, which was singing “I Go Hungry” by Mother Mother loudly. Virgil answered the call, seeing that it was Patton.

“Hello?” Patton asked in a strained voice.

“Pat? Hey, what’s up?” He bit lightly on his thumb nail, worried his mother had done something to him.

“I’m at the tree behind the school. I ran here ‘cause mom-”

He was shushed by Virgil who didn’t want Janus to hear about his family, “I gotcha. I’ll be there in ten. I’m assuming you just don’t want to home alone with her?”

“No, uh, Roman invited me over but he just got his licensed revoked and his house is too far to walk.”

“That’s good. Well, that he could take you in for tonight. Not the license part. I’ll, uh, be there soon. I have to grab my bike then head over. Sound good?”

“Mhm,” his brother hummed, his tone finally going back to somewhat relaxed; Virgil’s gentle voice always did that to him.

“Alright, see you. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Patton replied, just before Virgil hung up.

“Going, I guess?” Janus asked.

“Yeah. I’m not gonna abandon him out there. It looks like it’s gonna rain.” Virgil stood and grabbed his leather jacket, swinging it on. 

“‘Kay.” Janus said lazily, to exhausted to do much else.

Virgil headed out, taking one last glance at Janus before hopping out of the window and down into the alley. He walked for a while before finding his bike, quickly hopping and heading over to the school. He stopped in the parking lot and shot Patton a text, anxiously waiting for him to arrive, his foot tapping on the edge of the motorcycle lighty. Eventually, Patton appeared from behind the school and hopped on the bike, grabbing a helmet from Virgil. His was originally a white helmet they found on the street that Virgil had taken and cleaned up for him, his brother having very little money to buy such items after buying his bike. 

“Hey,” Virgil said, his tone back to it’s normal sharpness but it was warmer than with Janus.

“Hey,” Patton repeated in a much softer tone, wrapping his arms around Virgil’s waist to stay attached. 

Virgil chose to drive off, not wanting to talk much. The twenty minute ride to Roman’s was silent, the boys just enjoying the ride. Virgil parked outside of a large house with a long driveway, the bushes surrounding it used to create a sense of privacy.

“See you,” Virgil said quietly, not wanting to disturb the neighbors since the way he was dressed indicated he didn't belong in the area. He watched Patton be let in doors, turning and leaving the area to go back home. 

Patton looked at the inside of Roman’s home, though he couldn’t get used to it like he could Logan’s home. It was too grand, too white. It all looked like a hospital with way too much money to burn on decor. He didn’t have long to dwell on it as he was swooped up and off his feet, into a pair of strong arms.

“Roman!” Patton squealed, knowing his boyfriend would be careful with him.

“Yes, my princess?” Roman asked, drawing out the ‘s’ in ‘yes’ to indicate his playful mood.

“You scared me!” Pat scolded.

“Did not.”

“Did too!”

Roman let out a breathy laugh and gently set Patton down.

“I didn’t say to let me down, goof!” He adored being held and babied and both his boyfriends knew it well.

“Fine, fine,” he said, picking Pat back up bridal style. Patton nuzzled his face into Roman’s chest and smiled.

“Tired?” Roman asked, earning a confirmatory nod and hum in response. Roman thought for a second, “cuddles and music in my bed, then?” to which he got the same response. Roman carried Patton upstairs, one hand running through Pat’s hair as they walked. He opened a pearl white door with his hip, heading inside.

Patton opened his eyes sleepily to the bedroom, watching as Roman opened the sheer canopy over his bed and set him down.

“I’m just going to change, okay?” Roman whispered. Patton nodded and curled up, not minding that he was sleeping in a polo and khakis. Roman was about to object and offer him some clothes but his boyfriend looked far too peaceful to disturb. He changed in the room, not caring what Patton saw, before slipping into bed with him, spooning Patton’s back before drifting off into sleep like the boy beside him.


	11. Oleander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ps: The chapter name has nothing to do with the song or the flower. It's just based on a theory of mine that Oleander is about murderTW: mention of murder and paranoia

TW: mention of murder and paranoia

Virgil sat on his bed, elbows slumped on his knees as he held his phone and scrolled through the news. Not much interested him but it did cure his boredom for a time. His Sunday had been pretty lazy and Virgil had no intention on changing that. He clicked on the “crime” tab after a bit and scrolled through there, that area of the news interested him more than celebrity drama and cooking recipes. 

He read one of the headlines, “BODY FOUND IN WOODS BY DOG, NEW EVIDENCE TO A QUICKLY CLOSING CASE”

Virgil clicked on the article in interest, unsure of which cold case it was referring to. The victim was a male and they assumed it to be linked to a three month old case from the city nearby. He shrugged it off as just another case and shut off his phone, his growing headache making him more tired. 

A head poked into the room. “V?” Patton asked.

Virgil sat up and faced his brother, “Hm?”

“Are you going shopping yet? There’s no more milk and not much to eat.” His brother looked worried, and Virgil knew why.

“Yeah, let me see what we can get and then I’ll head out. Are you going to be okay here or would you like to come with me?” He opened his phone to a document of their budget as he spoke, looking down to see how much they could spend.

“Can I come with you?” Patton said shyly.

“‘Course. Wouldn’t of offered it if not.” Virgil got out of bed and slipped his sneakers on and tied the laces while Patton did the same. He grabbed the wad of cash from under his dresser and motioned for Patton to follow him as he walked out.

Patton did as told and followed his brother out to the motorcycle, both of them slipping on their helmets. Virgil started up the engine and Patton got on, burying his head in Virgil’s shoulder. He drove, heading to the supermarket just downtown, a short, ten minute drive.

Once they arrived, Virgil parked the bike into place and headed in, going to the cold department in the back after grabbing a cart. He grabbed a few things he needed, adding up the prices on his phone’s calculator.

After grabbing everything they needed, Patton and Virgil went to the checkout line and started scanning the items; Patton putting up the items on the table beside the machine and Virgil handing him items. From the side of his eye, Virgil caught a glimpse of a red face and yellow t-shirt and, suspecting it was Janus, looked at the person. 

He saw it was his friend and called calmly, as Janus was just beside him, “Hey, Jan.”

“Jan?” The shorter asked, confused but also amused by the new nickname.

“Duh, ‘cause your name is Janus. Anyway, hi.” Virgil spoke in a dry tone, his sarcasm clear.

“What are you doing here? Did you follow me?” Janus seemed panicked, almost paranoid.

“Uh, no, I just needed food?” His brow furrowed as he bit the inside of his lip nervously.

“And that’s all?” Janus asked once again to which Vigril confirmed. Virgil looked over Janus and his odd stance, the distress in his face was evident. His clothes were disheveled and his outfit seemed less put-together than normal. His beanie covered his messy hair and his eyes seemed slightly red under a layer of concealer and eyeliner. Janus seemed hunched over to seem smaller and his hands were collapsed tightly together in front of his body.

“Forget it, anyway, they’re asking for your card.” Janus pointed to the cashier who had swung the card scanner over to Virgil’s side of the counter.

“Oh, uh, no, I only have cash.” He handed her the pre-counted amount of bills to the cashier.

The cashier looked over them, counting out the amount, the time it took making Virgil shake with anxiety for feeling like he was holding up the line, even if it was just Janus. 

“Sir, you’re eight dollars short.” Virgil’s eyes went wide as he dug through his pockets, praying he had some forgotten bills in there for the items were all essentials and he didn’t have anything else.

“I...I don’t. Um, take off the-” He was cut off by Janus slipping the cashier a $10 bill.

“Give him the extra,” Janus said with a small, barely noticeable smile to anyone but Virgil.

The cashier took it and finished the transaction, handing the extra two dollars to Virgil who slipped it in his pocket.

“Thank you,” He said softly before heading out, Patton just behind him.

They walked to the motorcycle, Patton slipping the bags on his arms and holding on once more.

“So that was Janus, huh?” His brother teased. Virgil lightly headbutted Patton by leaning his head back.

“Oh, shut up. He’s cute though, right?”

Patton giggled and shrugged, “Not to me but he seems like your type!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all should check out my one shot series


	12. O My Heart

TW: Minor verbal anger/fighting, anxiety

Virgil sighed and flopped his head onto Patton’s lap, once again exhausted after a long day of work. Patton giggled a little and whipped out Virgil’s patchwork hoodie out from under Virgil’s head. It softly landed on Virgil’s face but the taller one made no move to fix it. Patton sewed up a hole Virgil has managed to dig into the cuffs, humming a tune softly.

“I think Janus is avoiding me,” Virgil said curtly, slightly muffled due to the layers of cotton on him.

“Have you talked to him?” Patton asked sweetly.

“Yes! I haven’t called him ‘cause that feels clingy, though.” He slouched more and let out a little groan, his feet giving out and his knees falling to the bed.

“Well, why don’t you do that? I’m sure he’ll understand. Maybe just ask him to hang out?” Patton gently removed the jacket from Virgil’s face, stitching a few more stitches once his brother was freed.

Virgil mulled it over before sitting up and grabbing his phone. He scrolled through the contact before landing on Janus’s. He tapped the phone icon and held the phone up to his ear, waiting as the ringing began. 

Brrrrrr

Brrrrr

Brrrrr

Brr-

Just as the last tone was beginning to play and Virgil was about to hang up, Janus answered.

“Hello?” Virgil greeted.

“Hello, Virgil.” The voice was deeper than Janus’s, almost unnaturally so. Virgil bit his lip nervously but brushed it off as the phone distorting his voice.

“Are you free today? I haven’t heard from you, but I’m kinda bored.” Virgil said, his tone sounding normal despite the nervousness in his system.

“Actually, Virgil, can we talk now?” Virgil’s heart rate sped up even further, fearing the worst. It couldn’t be good after a week of ghosting him and now not even wanting to meet.

“Hello?” The voice called once again.

“I, uh, yeah, go ahead.” He felt Patton’s hands gently hug him, his anxiety was usually obvious to his brother.

“Well,” Janus said, drawing out the end of the word, “I would rather meet up on a da-” The person on the other end made an angry noise away from the phone.

“What? A date?” Virgil asked incredulously. 

“Mhm! An- Hey!” Virgil heard as the phone impacted onto something hard and two voices argued. Virgil immediately hung up, trying to not be triggered by the fighting.

“What was that?” He whispered to himself.

“Are you okay?” Patton asked, hugging him tighter. He put the now-fixed jacket around Virgil’s shoulder, a new dusty purple patch on the stretchy cuffs. Patton just got a nod in response, Virgil groaning an hanging up the phone when it began to ring again. “V, you should hear him out. You like him, right? So accept the invitation!”

Virgil shook his head, “I think that was a prank from one of his friends. Didn’t sound like him.”

“So? It has to of come from somewhere right? It sounded happy so it might of been a friend or sibling.” Patton offered with an encouraging smile.

“No, he doesn’t have any siblings and he’s never mentioned a friend other than me.” He hugged the jacket closer to his shoulders, not having the mental energy to put it on. Patton didn’t say anything more and Virgil was glad for it, not able to bear much else at the moment, breathing in counts to calm himself down.

“What the hell?” Janus yelled. “You can’t just do that!” He ran over and grabbed the phone from the ground, the plush carpet softening the blow. He made sure the screen wasn’t cracked before standing to face Remy.

“But I did!” Remy exclaimed triumphantly.

“Uhuh, and what’s he gonna do when he finds out it wasn’t me?”

“Well me acting like you and asking him on a date had to come from somewhere, right? So, if anything, it’s a push in the right direction; an incentive for you to come out and tell him.” Remy gave him a cheery smile, sitting down on the bed, pulling the back of his jacket up from under him.

“Rem…” Janus said, his tone deep and dangerous.

“Yes?” Remy chimed back happily, clearly not thinking what he did was anywhere near serious.

“I don’t care what ‘benefits,’” he used air quotes, “you think this will have because I should be allowed to have my moment!” His voice gradually got louder, his anger apparent. Remy sank down some, unsure of what to say.

“There’s no going back but you owe me, okay?” Remy gave a weak nod in response, his usual cocky demeanor now gone, understanding what he did now.

“What are you going to do?” Remy asked.

“I guess I’ll tell him…” Janus replied, sighing and leaning against the bedpost. His fists clenched against the polished but slightly scratched up wood.

“Really?” Remy asked excitedly.

“You’ve left me with no choice so I guess so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N   
> Hopefully I will get a chapter out before the new year but I have trouble writing when I’m not in school so no promises but be on the lookout for it!


	13. Train of Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attack and mention of scratching oneself

Virgil walked into the building, the drab gray walls of his school not doing much to improve his mood. He hung his head low, not wanting to be seen today. As he stopped at his locker and set his backpack inside, he considered his options. Go to class and feel utterly comfortable or skip and risk having to abandon Patton because of a detention? Usually, letting Patton go home alone wouldn’t cross Vigril’s mind as a problem, but after the morning they had had, it was a hard no. It was close to the holiday break for Christmas and their mom did not take the fact that they would be home all day for the next two weeks well, despite it happening every year.

Virgil shook his head to rid him of his thoughts, not liking where they were headed. Today was the last day of school and was a mere half day. He could sit through it and maybe find a hill to relax with his brother that night to enjoy the incoming flurry of snow that was reported to happen that night. 

He grabbed his books and folders, the cheap, school-provided supplies not at all holding up this far into the year. He held the books close to his chest, his deep brown hair falling over his eyes, the dye from when he dyed it a few years ago at a friend’s house barely visible at the tips. He shivered at the memory that came with that and continued walked, believing that his thoughts would leave if he left the area. 

His first few classes went by just fine, Virgil mostly playing on his phone when he could, music playing in some earbuds even more often. Because of the shortened day, most teachers didn’t care about what they did as very few actually taught something productive. However, once his math class rolled around, Virgil laid his eyes on a Janus holding a purple bag that changed his mood. Purple was his thing, the gift couldn’t be for him, right? But Janus had no other friends. Well, that he was aware of. But they had been friends for nearly four months now, surely he couldn’t hide them for the long, right?

His thoughts continued to race as Janus approached and handed him the bag, uttering words Virgil couldn’t hear through the faint buzz of panic in his ears. He took the bag with shaky hands and opened it, his mouth in a silent “O” as he gazed upon the new hoodie in his hands. He flipped over the back to see a large embroidered design of one of his favorite bands on the back, one he and Janus had gushed over many times before.

“To replace your broken one,” He finally heard from Janus’s mouth.

“T... Thank you,” he uttered, unsure of how to recover from his momentary panic. Janus tilted his head at him, his arm outstretched to lean against Virgil’s desk beneath him.

“Do you not like it? I can get something else on the back? Or something different if your jacket is too sentimental?” 

Virgil quickly shook his head, hugging the jacket close, “Thank you, I like it.” He quickly put his normal persona back on, it only having slipped for a few seconds in actuality. 

Janus smiled proudly at his gift, ruffling up his hair with his other hand. A look of panic overtook Virgil once more, “I didn’t get you anything,” his tone was soft and defeated, more and more dawning on him how he couldn’t return the favor. He had no money for a gift and no skills to make anything homemade. Would a simple “thank you” suffice? Janus didn’t seem like the material type, but maybe he was still hoping for something? 

His mind ran a mile a minute, his fight-or-flight reflexes on overdrive. He loved the gift with every fiber of him, it was his only physical gift in years, and yet he has nothing to give back. His shame flew over him like a dark blanket of horrible emotions, so much so that he left the room in a hurry, running to the bathroom. The last few students filtering into classes covered up his actions, and he ran into a bathroom stall. He sat on the toilet, bringing his legs up so his feet could rest on the closed seat so nobody could look under the stalls and see him. His body was wracked with sobs, tears never falling due to Virgil having learned how to control that part of his body long ago. His hands gripped at his hair, lightly tugging in an effort to stay grounded and not begin scratching himself. 

He breathed in and out, in and out, counting his breaths as he did so to keep himself stimulated and grounded. He reached a point where his mind was no longer clouded by fear and breathed an unstable sigh of relief. There was no going back to math now, but he could not care less, the teacher would probably forget to take attendance anyway. Virgil’s mind wandered back to the need to return the favor and that led him to remember the weekend a few weeks ago with the prank phone call. Could his gift be a free date invitation? Virgil had no doubt he could plan a date but actually get over his nerves and ask? Giving your number in a friendly sense was far different from this, and even then, Virgil was surprised he had the courage to do that. Could he really ask a boy out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Got a new chapter done but it is 11:12 pm and I wrote the whole thing in an hour and thirty minutes. Also, for those who are curious, I live in the US so all school info will be US school related.


	14. Only Love

He took a deep breath, his lungs shuttering with the cold and overuse. He felt a gentle pressure on either of his sides, his brother holding him close as the wind flew by their ears and the sound of cars surrounded them. Virgil smiled lightly at the groundingness the experience always gave him, finally feeling human for the first time that day. He pulled into the street where his house lie and chained the motorcycle to a post. Patton stepping off with unstable feet.

“You okay?” Virgil asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Fine,” Patton replied with a gentle smile, “just a little unstable after the ride and I don’t feel great.”

Virgil nodded and headed inside through the back exit, climbing a few staircases that led from the ground to their apartment. He slowly opened the door and slipped to his room, sticking to the shadows of the suddenly powerless home. Virgil made a mental note to look into that and set his bags on the floor by his bed, leaning against the wall beside it.

“So why did I find you in the bathroom skipping?” Patton said, his tone both accusatory and understanding, knowing why could either go from ‘because I didn’t feel like it’ and ‘anxiety was too high.’

Virgil didn’t reply, he just took the hoodie Janus had given to him out of the bag and showing it to Patton with an unreadable expression. 

“You bought a new hoodie? I’m not mad bu-”

“Janus gave it to me,” he explained. Patton went quiet and nodded, mulling over what to say.

“Did you say you appreciated it?” 

Virgil shook his head.

“Get him something in return?”

Another headshake.

“Well, okay, it’s not that bad. I’m sure he picked up on our situation and didn’t expect anything in return,” Patton offered as assurement.

“That doesn’t mean I should take it, though. I’ve never seen this hoodie before and I’ve looked at a lot of the hoodies they sell.”

“Virge, Janus is your friend. I doubt he needs something in return, or he’ll abandon you or something. Give him a nice note or something?” Patton crouched beside Virgil, who was now curled up with his knees to his chin. 

There was a pause of silence, neither knowing what to say until Patton perked up, “What id your gift is a date?”

Virgil opened his mouth to protest, but Patton kept talking, “That’d make a great gift! He is so obviously into you and maybe this is his way of showing it? Did he have gifts for anyone else?”

Virgil shook his head and opened and closed his mouth a few times, “I mean, I guess it can’t hurt to try?” He fidgeted with his fingers, trying to decide what he could do for the date. He didn’t have the money to get a meal for Janus and that seemed to be the cheapest option that wasn’t just laying outside. 

When he made up his mind about how he’d get the money and gave Patton a self-assured smile, trying to not worry his brother. “I’m gonna go for a ride and pick a spot for us to eat, okay? I might be out a while.”

“Why not your normal spot?” Patton pondered as he watched Virgil get up and head to the door.

“He’s already been there, and, besides, this will be our spot, not just mine that I brought him into.” Patton nodded, satisfied with the answer.

Virgil left once more, hoping on his bike with just his new jacket on his back, having replaced it just before leaving, having left his old one on his bed. He drove, watching as the trees, roads, and grasses passed by him. He drove up any path he could, and if all seemed promising, would walk the rest of the way he couldn't drive. 

But nothing seemed right. There wasn't enough view of the sky, it was too rocky, the water rushed too loudly, and Virgil was getting impatient. It was nearing midnight and Virgil still had to get the money. The weekend was only in a few days and that seemed like the ideal time to set the date, but he would have to ask earlier than that. 

He drove through a path, taking note of the snapdragons that littered the path. There was a narrow path ahead, so he jumped off the bike and locked it to a tree, pocketing the key in his jacket pocket. He hugged the oversized sleeves close to his body, the chill in the air getting colder. He observed the opening, finally pleased with the location. He reached into his pocket and fished for his phone but soon realized it wasn’t there. He tried to recall when he last used it and concluded it was back at the house. Virgil sighed and ruffled his hair, trying to make sure he knew where the place was by memory before going back down the hill to his motorcycle. 

The sound of crickets and cicadas buzzed around him, the rest of the world dead silent. Virgil quickened his pace to his bike, goosebumps rising on his arms and not just from fear. His heart rate sped up and the leaves crushing beneath him became louder and soon did not line up with his own footsteps. Virgil broke out into a sprint but his waist was grabbed, forcing him to look back at a pair of eyes he had seen before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayo, finally passed 50 google doc pages and I’m excited! This is the farthest one of my stories has ever got (published or unpublished) and I’m kind of proud of myself :)


	15. Business Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Blood, being kidnapped, violence, gang stuff, U!Remus (and all the jokes related to his humor), self-harm injuries mentioned (summary in notes. Read up to the “~” for the majority of Remus and violence)

Virgil blinked his eyes awake, a dull throb in his head. He could feel the rush of blood trying to reach his hands which were deprived of some of what they needed. A tingle covered his body, ropes constricting his hands, ankles, and chest to the chair he sat in. His eyes flew open, panic setting in as he struggled against the restraints. His head swung wildly on his neck as he looked around the room for some answers. It was dark, possibly a basement. There was a thin mattress beside him and a table shrouded in darkness. 

Footsteps came from the hallway, three pairs Virgil guessed. The first one entered, it was the taller kid who beat him up a few months ago, followed by the more athletically built one. He sneered in their direction, but they paid him no heed as the third entered. He was dressed similarly to Virgil but was built with more muscle with a similar height. His bright green belt stood out against the dark blacks and greens of the rest of his outfit, the wallet chain hanging from it, loosely resting against his thigh. His brown hair laid messily against his head, a white streak running through the bangs. He was undoubtedly handsome to most, minus the smears of blood that littered his clothes and embedded in his mustache hairs. 

Virgil’s eyes went wide as he recognized the face as his brother’s boyfriend’s brother, in which he had seen pictures and while dropping Patton off. “Remus?!” he cried.

“Evening, Virgey!” Remus squealed happily.

“But Pat-!”

“Is fine,” he finished for him. “My brother would never let me within a foot of him while I’m on a job.”

Virgil let out a little sigh of relief before the realization hit him, “On the job?”

Remus let out a happy noise, “Mhm! Did my brother never tell you?”

“I don’t speak to your brother and mine never mentioned it.” Virgil narrowed his eyes.

Remus hummed, “Oh well! The shock was well worth it!” He went over to the chair that Virgil was seated in.

~~~~~

“Now! Tell me about Janus!” Remus chirped.

“Janus? But you know him, aren’t you his ex?”

Remus buzzed his lips in thought, “Yeah, but he didn’t tell me anything. He didn’t trust me like he does you, I was just some toy for a lotta juicy sex!” 

Virgil cringed, his fantasies with Janus suddenly turning sour. “And you think he trusts me?”

“He don’t treat me like how he does with you. I joined a gang, and he just said ‘k’ and broke up with me! He didn’t care about me!” Remus shook Virgil’s shoulders violently, only adding to the pain in Virgil’s skull. 

Virgil tried to keep a level head and not yell back, contradicting every fiber in his body. “What exactly do you want?”

Remus giggled and clasps his hands together, still uncomfortably close to Virgil, “Info on his family and group!”

“I don’t know anyth-” he was cut off as his chair was pushed backwards and his back hit the floor, a bleeding pain spreading across the back of his head as it made contact with the concrete ground. Virgil cried out, his entire body wanting to curl up and protect itself from the incoming attacks, but the restraints refrained it from doing so.

Remus straddled his chest, sitting heavily on his stomach, making sure to make it uncomfortable. Virgil resisted the urge to throw up and took in a gasp of air instead, his gut twisting. 

“Gonna tell me now, dirty boy?” He wiggled with excitement.

“I don’t have anything, Remus!” Virgil started to struggle some.

“Mmmm, nope! I don’t believe ya. I’ve seen the way he looks at you! Practically undressing ya!” Remus giggled and slapped him.

“We’re not even dating, Remus!” Virgil yelled but didn’t hear what Remus said after that, his world going dark.

Virgil woke up with a desperate gasp, pain searing every part of his body. He felt wet and cold all over, with an uncomfortable texture against his skull. His eyes couldn’t seem to focus, so he tried to use his body to assess the situation. 

His head hurt the most and the uncomfortable texture was dried blood caked to his hair.

His hand felt twisted, hopefully not broken.

His clothes were soaked with water, the room temperature was freezing, so it made all his injuries burn.

There were cuts all over, the previous ones on his thighs being reopened. The biggest one was also there. 

Virgil felt as the bed he was in moved a little and jerked towards the source, wondering how he didn’t hear them come in. He opened his eyes and made out the green form sitting there, Remus’s lips moving but making no noise.

He couldn’t hear a thing. Not the creak of the bed, the words of his captor, or the whimper that fell through his own lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUMMARY:   
> Virgil discusses with Remus how Remus and Janus used to be an item before Remus joined a gang, one that rivaled with Janus’s. Because of this Janus broke up with him. Remus seems to want information about Janus’s gangs and does not believe when he, truthfully, says he has no information on it. Virgil awakens after being knocked out to realize he cannot hear.


	16. Jump The Fence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: mention of cuts and harm, kidnapping, and broken legs. Description upon request if anyone needs it :)

Virgil awoke in the stone-cold bed once again for the third time. His body was wrought with pain and all he could hear was a buzzy, high-pitched ringing in his head. He flexed his muscles except for his right leg to ensure it was all still working. Virgil sucked in a deep breath before opening his eyes and trying to move his body with all his force. He could feel the restraints against his hands and feet holding him down, but he tried anyway. To his surprise, his left hand broke free of its tie and lifted up high in the air. He gasped quietly in surprise but immediately stifled it in fear that Remus had heard. When no one entered the room after a few seconds, Virgil carefully sat up and looked around for any form of escape. He eyed down the door, it seeming to be his only option.

As he was taking one last sweeping look around, he saw a small table with just a knife and rope on it. He forwent the rope and grabbed the pocket knife instead, thinking his luck had finally returned. 

Virgil poked his head out of the door, trying to observe any exits or people waiting for him. When it seemed like no one was there, he walked in a way that he hoped was quiet. Turning a corner, he saw a clock that read, “2:17 am.” He nodded to himself and continued down the hall, surprised at the lack of security. However, as Virgil turned a corner, he realized it was a dead end, but not before seeing a curled up form before him, arms chained to the wall. When the person heard Virgil’s footsteps, his head shot up, his red and puffy eyes exposing the true pain he felt.

Virgil stooped low to the person’s level, observing his tattered sweater and body. “Hello?” he whispered as quietly as he could.

The boy’s eyes widened as he huddled in further. Virgil sighed and looked around the cell, trying to think of an idea on how to free him. The boy’s cries had settled by now, and he seemed to be watching Virgil, having some trust in him.

“Here,” Virgil said suddenly, taking out the pocket knife and attempting to snap the metal wire holding the cuffs to the chain. After much yanking and pulling, one arm fell free. Virgil continued to work at the second as the boy looked at the welts left there. It took longer than Virgil would have liked, but eventually, the other arm was free and the boy stood up on wobbly legs.

“Don’t be dead weight or I’m leaving you.” Virgil was firm with his words, despite his quiet volume. The other one nodded and followed as Virgil left the cell, stepping in front of Virgil, waving forward and saying what Virgil could assume was “follow me.” He did as told, watching the other boy’s lips move but not hearing his words. Virgil gently tapped his shoulder and put a finger to his own lips before pointing to signal them forward. The other blushed in embarrassment and continued, Virgil observing his limp on his right leg, similar to his own. 

They rounded a corner, revealing a door with a small window showing natural sunlight. Both boys lit up, the shorter one more than the other. Virgil cut the metal wire holding the lock on the door before turning to the other, “Run, okay? I’m not waiting for you if an alarm goes off or this is loud.”

He nodded, confidently facing the door, saying something that fell of deaf ears as Virgil pushed the door open and started running. The pain in Virgil’s leg was immeasurable, searing up into the rest of his body. He watched as the other boy followed him, albeit a bit slower. He seemed to be in just as much pain, but also gripping the arm on the same side. Luckily, the other hadn’t reacted to an alarm, so Virgil assumed one didn’t go off in them opening the door, but they had a ways to go until town, but it was still visible in the distance.

The two boys ran and ran, adrenaline pumping the whole way, not allowing them to slow or feel the true extent of their pain. They ran into town after what felt like hours and kept to the shadows, their dirty clothes and beaten bodies being dead giveaways to their condition. Virgil did not want to cause a scene nor attract police, he just wanted to get home to Patton. He was sure he was worried sick by now. 

Virgil let out one last huff of air and turned onto his street for the first time in three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, life happened!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: mention of DUI

“Stay quiet once we go in, okay? My brother will get you sorted out. Tell him your name, I can’t hear you.” Virgil stated sternly, lightly amused by the look of recognition on the other boy’s face as he realized why Virgil never responded to his questions. He nodded and followed Virgil into the backside of the worn-down townhouse. 

Staying as quiet as they could, they creaked up the stairs, Virgil pushing open a door at the top, revealing a sobbing form on the bed, clutching a pillow close while one man spooned him and the other sat at the foot of the bed, trying to coax the sobbing one to drink from a glass of water.

As the group heard the door opened, Roman, the one spooning Patton, jumped up and kneeled on the bed in front of Patton, expecting it to be the mother. When he saw the two at the door, he relaxed, but all three looked confusedly at the new person.

“Virgil? Where have you been?!” Patton jumped up and hugged his brother with all the strength in his body, refusing to let go.

“I need to call Janus, but we need to talk first. Do you have your phone?” Patton tilted his head in confusion but nodded and followed heel as Virgil walked out to the bathroom.

Once they were in, Virgil sat on the counter, “Is mom home?”

Patton shook his head, “Nope, she is at the police station. DUI.”

Virgil pursed his lips together and pointed to his ear, “Can’t hear, write on your phone.”

Patton’s eyes went wide and Virgil hopped off the counter to stop him from falling, catching a limp and, once again sobbing, Patton. He rubbed his brother’s back until he could feel Patton’s breathing return to a decent pace. He looked down at the smaller twin and gave him a gentle smile, “It’s a little better than a few days ago, so I think it will heal. I can hear buzzes of loud noises, now.”

Patton nodded a tiny bit before pulling out his phone.

Patton text> You need to go to the doctors!

Virgil shook his head, “I’m fine, I have things I have to do first. Now, did you call the police?”

Patton text> Of course I did! But with your record of just taking  
off and all, it wasn’t taken all that seriously… 

“Call it off, I can talk to them but I don’t want them to know.” When he saw Patton’s mouth start to open in protest, he continued, “No arguing, I know what is best, Pat.”

Patton nodded and called, explaining to the officer that his brother had returned after a few days trip to the woods for some free time, Virgil saying hello to confirm he was, indeed, home. 

Once all seemed good with the law, Patton hung up and texted again, showing the phone to Virgil, so he could read it.

Patton text> Im going to patch you up while you tell me what  
happened, okay? I need to know you’re okay!!

“Fine, but go check on your boyfriends and the other guy first.”

Patton knew there was no fighting Virgil's wishes, so he listened, going back to Virgil’s bedroom. He peeked his head in, looking over to see Roman chatting up the new guy who was just dressed in his boxers on the bed. 

“Hey,” Patton said gently as he walked in, the floor creaking below him as he walked towards the bed, “what’s your name?”

The other boy smiled a little, “I’m Emile. Roman said you’re Patton?”

He hummed in agreement, “That’s me, I’m Virgil’s brother. Virgil is the one who helped you here. Do you know where you are?”

Emile thought for a moment, “Yeah, I grew up a few towns over and visited for hikes over the summer.”

Patton smiled more and sat on the bed beside him as Logan started to wrap up Emile’s leg. Emile bit his lip to stop from yelping out in pain as pressure was applies. “Seems to be broken, you need to visit a hospital soon,” Logan stated.

Emile shook his head, “Yeah, if I had the money.”

No one knew what to say after that, leaving them all in an uncomfortable silence. They stayed like that for a while before Patton stood back up and left, explaining he was going to check on Virgil. 

He walked in on his brother on his own phone, seeming to be texting someone. “What are you doing?” Patton asked gently, not trying to be accusatory.

“Left my phone here and I needed to text Janus ASAP.” Virgil explained, leaving Patton with a confused but content enough feeling. 

The two sat in a nervous silence, Patton on the verge of crying again and Virgil rapidly typing away to Janus, explaining that he was gone for a few days for reasons he couldn’t explain over Patton’s phone. He watched as Janus’s typing bubble popped in and out, biting his thumbnail as he waited. Finally, a response came and Virgil looked to Patton, “Janus is coming, I can’t get him to not and I don’t want him to see the house. Help me outside and grab my phone, will you? Not in that order.”

Patton nodded and ran to get Virgil’s phone from the bed, having clutched it earlier that day while crying. He went back to Virgil and typed a message on his own phone while walking back

Patton text> I don’t want to leave you anymore, let Janus in or let me go with you two

When Patton returned and Virgil saw the message, he shook his head and sighed, “No, I’ll only be an hour or two, but we need to sort the other guy out and your boyfriends need to go home, it’s so early in the morning and you all visibly haven’t slept.”

Patton seemed to fight with himself before throwing his arms around Virgil in a tight hug, unintentionally causing him pain, but Virgil didn’t let out any hint of discomfort. It took Patton a few minutes to let go, but when he did, he left without a word before Logan walked in and helped give a shoulder to Virgil to go outside, Roman carrying Emile bridal-style. 

Janus’s car was already outside, the engine letting out visible puffs of steam in the cold, January air. Janus burst out of the car, running up the back stairs of the house and held Virgil’s forearms tightly, his mittens providing some warmth to the freezing cold boy. 

“What the hell?! What happened to you!” Janus said urgently, pain and concern glistening in his eyes as he squeezed Virgil tighter. 

“Your house first, I can’t hear you. This guy,” Virgil shoved his head towards Emile, “Needs some a place to stay or to find his parents or something.”

Janus, who had been warned that something was up with Virgil, simply nodded and took Logan’s spot in supporting Virgil and carried him to his car, setting him in the passenger seat as Roman set Emile in the back to sprawl his leg, now in a temporary wrapping, up on the back seats.

Virgil stayed silent, going between watching the window and watching Janus as he drove. He watched as the man whose company he had come to enjoy fought inside, his pain and conflict hidden behind a veil of neutrality and calm sternness. How Virgil wanted to take his hand and provide the comfort, but he knew better, they were just friends and such an act would be firmly denied by Janus, who wanted to keep his appearance even around his friend. 

Virgil so wanted to just hear some form of his words again, he knew he would likely be able to hear again, but he wanted that comfort now. He wanted to share his love and be comforted by the fact that Janus was okay, to both feel better because of each other. To both feel safe in each other’s presence. To know this trauma would pass, would pass to a distant memory.

As he closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the seat, he let out a sigh of stress and little did he know in his utter exhaustion, a phrase that Janus heard as “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so fast update because I realized I'm big dumb. There was texting in chapter 1, Chasing It Down, that I didn't realize until now. Feel free to go back and read it for context but it should be correct in this chapter!


	18. Angry Sea pt 1

Janus slammed on the brakes, nearly crashing into the car in front of him, luckily Virgil had uttered the phrase right before a red light so nothing looked too odd to other cars.

“What?” Janus asked incredulously, Virgil having been abruptly awoken by the force of the car shoving him forward in his seat.

“What?” Virgil repeated, more annoyed and sleepy than Janus’s high-pitched surprise.  
Janus pulled over to the side of the road, out of others ways before pulling out his phone.

“What do you mean ‘what?’ You know exactly what you said!” Janus typed as he whipped his phone in front of Virgil’s face, confusion and panic more evident than Virgil had ever seen before in the yellow and black clad man. 

“I don’t? I was just about to sleep, did Emile say something?” Virgil turned around in his seat to look back at the smaller boy who just shook his head, Virgil not catching the warning stare that Janus was giving Emile. He slumped back in his seat and shrugged, “I dunno, man. Just let me sleep.”  
Janus let out a strange groan of annoyance and confusion, “No, we are almost home.” He wrote down on his phone before showing Virgil. He looked at Emile through the rearview mirror and said something that Virgil couldn’t make out as he turned the corner into his house’s street. They all sat in silence, minus the car’s rumbling and the light patter of Virgil’s foot hitting the car door as it bounced anxiously. They got out once parked and headed in through the back exit. They all seemed to drag their feet, dreading the conversation at hand. It swarmed their heads like a dark cloud, Janus jumping to a thousand conclusions and the two others of what they were to going to say to Janus.

“Sit, I’ll make some drinks. Coffee, Virgil?” Janus texted, sending the message off to Virgil’s phone this time. His face was soft and caring when Virgil looked up to nod, before taking a seat on a yellow beanbag chair, Emile sticking to awkwardly standing by a bookshelf.

“Emile?”

Emile’s eyes lifted up quickly before shaking his head, “I’m fine.”

Janus nodded before leaving the other two, back in their near-deafening state of silence and crushing thought. Virgil looked up right as Emile’s lips moved to make a simple, “Thank you.”

“Did you say ‘thank you’? Why?” Virgil asked, tilting his head at the older boy.

Emile looked around the room before grabbing a notebook and pen off of the dresser and wrote, “You saved me. So, thank you.” Emile smiled softly at him, the bags under his eyes more visible under the yellow LED lights on Janus’s ceiling. “I hope to explain to you what happened one day but we might be separated before then. If not, I will tell you when I can, okay?”

Virgil just gave him a shallow nod, sighing as he leaned back and let the beanbag engulf him, silently hoping it would choke him. If Emile is hopeful that he can grow out of this trauma, then he can too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
> So sorry for the late update, I hit a bad lump of writer’s block and have slowly been getting over it. This is just part 1 of chapter 18 so don’t worry. Part 2 should be up when I have it finished (5-7 days) and eventually I will combine them into one. Please forgive me! (I also accidentally wrote this whole part in which Virgil is not deaf on accident and almost cried when I realized :( )


	19. Angry Sea pt 2

Janus soon returned with a coffee mug and two cups of water. He handed one to Emile who took it, taking a dainty sip. Virgil took the mug, drinking immediately, ignoring the burn of the black coffee on his tongue. It only grounded him more and the pain seemed like nothing to his numb and coping brain. Emile handed the notebook and pen to Janus, who took it and sat on his bed, writing for a moment before showing it to Virgil.

“Virgil, can you go first? I’ll talk to Emile in private later, after I take you home.” He wrote. Virgil took a moment to process the words on the page before nodding and replying.

“Yeah, but can I write it out? Makes it easier.” Janus wordlessly handed him the notebook, watching as Virgil thumbed over the corner edges of the notebook, the texture calming him some as he contemplated what to write. Finally, he sighed and wrote his heart out. The time looking to find a perfect date-night place, deciding to admit his feels to Janus in the letter just to give him a full picture. He explained the men who found him and Remus. Remus. The name felt sour in his brain, absentmindedly mumbling the world aloud, alarming Janus, who was trying to convince himself he did not hear the name of his ex fall between the lips of the boy in front of him. He had briefly mentioned that Roman was his ex’s brother but nothing more than that. Besides, that was months ago and it hardly seemed appropriate to bring it up now in such a weightful situation.   
After his pause in writing, Virgil continued, writing of his injuries and what was told to him before he lost his hearing. He wrote as little as possible about his own feelings and injuries during the experience, choosing to stick with just the facts of his capture.

Once he was done, he handed the book back to Janus, about two pages full of scribbly writing scrawled on the pages. Virgil’s hands shook with anxiety, almost unwilling to hand the book of trauma and blurred memories over. However, he didn’t pull away as Janus gently grasped it and took it away from him, reading the words on the pages. Janus’s breath seemed to quicken as he continued, not noticing the way his eyes widened and his grip vise-like on the cover, little crescent moon shapes creasing themselves into the moldable plastic. He nearly shook with emotion, both from the shock of the confession and pure, unbridled anger from what Remus had done. He slammed the book down on the bed beside him, the sudden movement making the other boys jump a little.

Janus stared down at it like it had burned him, ready to kill the man who had caused all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N   
> Hello! Part 2! In a few days, I will be combining the chapters into one, just to let you guys know. Also, we are nearing the end, soon. There should be anywhere from 5-10 chapters before we finish up. If you are curious, I will likely not writing another Sanders Sides story after this one. I wish not to disappoint anyone but it interests me less as of right now. However, I already am planning to write a DreamSMP book if any of you would be interested, I will let you guys know when it is up.


	20. Slip Away

TW: Panic attack, absentmindedly scratching oneself, dry heaving (throwing up)

Virgil gently set a hand on Janus’s shoulder, unsure of what else to do to comfort him. He feared what exactly Janus was mad about. Was it about him and his confession or the situation as a whole? Janus looked over at him, beginning to speak before angrily grabbing the notebook again, writing furiously, the ink in the pen unable to fully keep up, leaving some of the letters incomplete. 

“Go to the car, I’ll meet you there.”

Virgil looked at the words on the page, his brain automatically assuming that the tone that Janus was trying to convey was angry and stern. He listened, leaving the room quickly, fearing the worst and afraid Janus was going to yell at him if he made a wrong step. He knew his friend likely wasn’t mad at him, but the panic that clouded his mind like a raging storm was enough to push all rational thought away and to just avoid the situation. He rushed out the back door and opted to sit in the backseat, rather than the passenger seat as he was on the ride previous. 

Virgil picked at the skin around his nails, trying to breathe smoothly enough to be able to seem normal when Janus to come back. Once Virgil had calmed enough to fumble to pull out his phone, he texted Patton a simple, “I’m okay, heading back soon. Janus driving.” After seeing a ten-minute-old text from his brother, worrying about how he was doing. 

Virgil leaned his head back against the headrest, willing the pins and needles that seemed to roam his body in waves to leave, to let him feel normal. This was certainly not the worst attack he had ever had but it was unique in the pure pain and exhaustion that was before it. His energy was already similar to how he would feel after a panic attack but now that he was having one? He felt utterly miserable and on the verge of fainting. He breathed in a shaky breath, trying to keep   
himself alert and awake, not wanting to sleep in the confined space, alone and vulnerable. 

The dark spots in his vision grew involuntarily, the need to throw up overwhelming the poor, darkly dressed boy. He shed his hoodie, a spare one that Patton had thrown on his shoulders last second before leaving the house, his brother afraid the cold air would make him feel worse.

The cold air hit his bare arms like a truck, the feeling only helping to calm his body for a moment before he was forced to fumble with the car door, pulling on the handle with weak fingers before dry heaving out the sickness his body wanted to release. Nothing came out, reminding Virgil that his stomach was begging for food and water. The lack of care he had given to himself while at home was evident, his shaking limbs and racing heart catching up to him as he collapsed into the seat, his arm laying limply out the window.

____

When Janus exited his home only to find Virgil slumped out the car door and asleep, he felt his heart nearly skip a beat in fear. He ran to the car, noticing the thin layer of sweat that seemed to drench the larger of the two boys. Janus gently picked up Virgil’s hand and observed the rosy scrapes across his hands and arms, indents making little half circles into the palm of his hand. He noticed the nasty stench on him and knew he had to take him home and make sure he was taken care off. Janus knew that Virgil would be mad at him for coming inside their home but it was necessary. He had noticed the way Virgil would dance around his home life and only very recently gave his address to Janus earlier that day. 

Janus, for what felt like the hundredth time, ignored Virgil’s wishes and did what he thought was best. So, he took the asleep man home, brought him in, seeing that Patton was alone in Virgil’s room, asleep and hugging a small, black stuffed bear close to his chest. Janus only spared the sleeping boy a glance before continuing to carry Virgil bridal-style further into the house, in search of a bathroom. When he finally found one, he gently set Virgil on the musty rug and grabbed a washcloth, wetting it, and gently dabbing it across Virgil’s face to wake him up and remove the half-dried sweat. 

A small groan left the sleeping boy’s lips, eyes fluttering open slowly but quickly closing as soon as the light hit his eyes properly.

“Patton?” He said softly. 

Janus just let out a small chuckle and shook his head against as Virgil’s eyes finally focused on him.

Virgil’s brow furrowed in confusion, once again opening and closing his eyes, now noticing the light had been turned off but the soft glow of the slowly rising sun. 

“The hell? I was just in the car…” Virgil’s voice was slurred and gravely, much deeper in tone than normal, too. 

Janus looked around the room before pointing to the shower and then making a motion of putting imaginary food in his mouth before cocking his head to the side as if to ask a question.

Virgil shook his head, whether it was in response or to shake off the dreariness, Janus wasn’t sure. Virgil looked up at Janus, slowly leaning forward towards him, an obstructing buzz filling his brain as he wrapped his arms around the other, resting his head on Janus’s jacket, just above the small, yellow snake patch above his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had a good day!


	21. Baby Don't Dance

Janus lied there with Virgil, determined to not move in fear of upsetting the sleeping boy. He watched as Virgil’s chest rose and fell with each breath, enjoying how peaceful the younger boy looked in his arms. Janus leaned his head back against the sink, closing his eyes gently to calm down from the insanity of the day and enjoy the quiet moment with just the two of them. Though the quiet could not exist in Janus’s mind, he had too much to think about and process.

At the forefront of his mind right now was Virgil’s confession. In all honesty, when reading Virgil’s explanation, he reread the sentence over and over, hoping the sudden speed in his heart rate wasn’t noticeable to any of the others in the room. He had memorized it by now, reading over it once more after hearing Emile’s story and explaining their course of action to him. Janus couldn’t stop himself as he found the words slipping, almost silently, from his lips, “After you had given me the jacket, I wanted to repay you by asking you on a date.”

He would have accepted the invitation in a heartbeat, he knows that. Especially now, after the whirlwind of emotions he’s experienced, there was no doubt in his mind that he would have done on that date. He has never given a whole lot of thought to a romantic relationship for them, but he could not deny he was attracted to the man who had gathered up the courage to hand Janus his number. He now knew how hard that was for him to do, especially with someone Virgil had barely seen around the school. Janus was grateful, though. Without the courage, they might have never been friends; he may have never fallen in love.

But, of course, the elephant in the room still was there. Haunting Virgil’s memories and lingering in all of their minds. Janus had no doubt that they would come for Virgil again if he was so valuable. He couldn’t just lock up the poor boy, but he had to do something to ensure his safety. He came up with a mental list in his mind, just precautions to keep everyone safe. A phone tracker, always been in public if you’re alone, put Janus as an emergency number, and no more leaving the house without a phone. Janus nodded gently to himself, satisfied with his list. 

Carefully, he adjusted his body weight to rest on his other hip, but the movement still seemed to wake the sleeping boy up, his purple hair lifting up so just Virgil’s eyes could be seen under his bangs.

“We need to talk, don’t we?” Virgil grumbled, his voice still heavy with sleep.

The exasperation in his voice made Janus chuckle softly, the air making Virgil’s flyaways wave around in mild enthrallment. Janus brought out his phone and wrote, “Only if you want to now. We can talk and get you fixed up or talk after.”

Virgil read over it and held up one finger before gently flopping off of Janus’s lap and to the floor. Janus stood, grabbing Virgil by the waist, and after making sure he was not in any pain in that position, lifted him, so he stood on his good foot. He led Virgil to sit on the edge of the tub before turning the water on and testing the temperature.

“Take a bath and if you need me, I will be right outside the door, just call for me. I don’t need any more dirt getting into those cuts.” 

Virgil contemplated following what Janus had written down but decided, ultimately, that he did not have the energy nor the strength to fight against it. After the tub was sufficiently full and warm to the touch, Janus left, leaving the door ajar before returning with a pile of clothes in hand, which he sent on the sink next to the towel before leaving once more, shutting the door this time around.

With a sigh, Virgil ran the tips of his calloused fingers through the surface of the water, watching as the ripples slowly dissipated further from the source of the movement into nothing. He hated being alone again, but he needed to bathe before allowing himself to be so close to Janus again. 

He got undressed, the cold, bathroom air seeping through his skin and chilling him to the bone. Virgil grimaced as he caught sight of himself in the slightly fogged mirror, cringing as he messy hair and deep eye bags. He turned from the mirror and slipped into the bath, the feeling of the water hugging his body doing wonders to relax his aching muscles out of their tension. As much as he wanted to close his eyes and rest once more, he knew better than to do such a thing and set to work cleaning himself, so he didn’t keep Janus waiting. 

After cleaning himself, minus conditioner which he felt was unnecessary, and he didn’t want to wait for it to set, he patted himself try with the old, matted towel. He looked back at himself in the mirror, not as spooked by what he saw this time. Virgil was clearly still exhausted, not having slept for several hours, and going through a panic attack was pushing his body to the limits. His shoulders and chest were bruised and littered with scrapes, his nose colored red and purple. His fists clenched in a flurry of emotions but before he could lose control of himself, he grabbed the t-shirt from the pile and slipped it on, followed by his underwear and black basketball shorts. He felt exposed, not used to showing that much skin, but Janus knew that; he must have given them, so he could treat Virgil’s wounds. 

With a noise of exhaustion and a stomach-turning feeling of fear of what was to come, Virgil slowly turned the handle of the bathroom and looked out to the hallway of his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider liking the story if you feel so inclined! Excited for that conversation to happen already?


End file.
